Little Smiles

Family, Loving Life, Questioning Sexuality, Sexuality, Small Things, Smiling

Today could have been a really awful day for me, but I have a new approach to looking at my life.

I have problems with my dirty room, or the fact that I have procrastination issues. But, I’ve decided that if I’m going to procrastinate, which I will, then I should at least enjoy it. So no guilt, but knowing I will still get done what I need to.

I have been questioning my sexuality recently, something I didn’t think I would ever do. But, liking someone can change that. She is interesting, and we have the best conversations, which maybe she and I are just really good friends, but maybe we are more. Something between us just connects and I love that. Though, I doubt she is interested in me (she is bisexual though). Because that seems to just be my luck with people I have feelings with 🙂

But I enjoy her company and opinions on things, we have a lot in common. People in our town wouldn’t support it, in fact, my family wouldn’t agree with it. My mom would, but no one else in my family. (Except my uncle who moved away when he came out. No one talks to him anymore.)

So, unless these feelings get out of hand, she and I will remain friends.

I have a feeling that this will pass though.

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Sometimes I am content, like right now. I have a Salted Caramel Mocha, and it’s venti. I really enjoy this autumn weather too. I splurged today and bought new makeup and brushes, as well as new Eos. The little things that bring me happiness, and sure, maybe it’s momentary happiness, but what else is life for? Why do we live if not for the small moments that bring small smiles to our faces? I think those smiles are the most important because everyone has the big smiles, but having little things in your life that make you smile involuntarily many times a day are what make us all special, because everyone smiles at birthday parties and weddings, but not everyone smiles at new chapstick or a new makeup brush. It’s what makes us unique and wonderful as people.

I love having days when everything makes me have those little smiles. It makes life worth living and trudging through.

I hope you, Reader, are having a wonderful day too. I hope you have someone in your life that you can take a moment to appreciate and love through their imperfections because you are eachother’s to love. I hope you can take a moment to appreciate your mother, and if you have them, siblings. Love them. Not just because they are family, but because they have dealt with you through your faults and that makes them very special. I’m not going to tell you to love your fathers, because I would feel hypocritical because I do not love my own. So, if you love your father, that is amazing and great. I hope you have a good relationship with your dad. But, love everyone just a little. That’s what I’d like to say to each reader who somehow finds this post.

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