Her.

Questioning Sexuality, Sexuality

Maybe I’m just confused, I’ve been through a lot recently. 

Is it possible that I have serious issues?

I think I’m bisexual now, but thinking about telling anyone I know closely terrifies me after what happened.

I came out to my friend, she is very open and loving, someone I trust. The only problem between her and I is that she believes there is a god and that being gay is wrong because he says so.

Which, is an oddly conformed belief if you knew her.

So when she told me that what I was feeling was just the confusion of my “Bisexual” friends, I started worrying that was really the case, but the more I tried stopping those feelings, it was like tampering with breaking floodgates. 

All hell broke loose and I think I am obsessed with that girl now.

I’ve been having “lesbian thoughts” for awhile now, nearly a year, but tried to pass it off as nothing. Because, everyone fantasizes about kissing someone of the same gender.. right?

I also came out to my ex-boyfriend, but instead of talking to me about it, he asked if it was because of him… Then he proceeded to tell me that I wasn’t really bisexual and this would pass.
It all started when I got into my first relationship. When he and I would kiss, sometimes I’d close my eyes and imagine he was a girl. A specific girl. I also had quite a few sexual dreams about this girl I currently have feelings for (I think?). When that happened, I shook my head and passed it off as nothing.

It was just a dream. 

maybe five.

I just found her interesting and enthralling.

I wasn’t bisexual, of course. I just was picking up on her confused sexuality.

right?

Right..?

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME I’M RIGHT HERE.

This scares me, I couldn’t just tell my family about this. I want to talk to someone about it, but the only person I’d feel comfortable talking to it about would be her and knowing me, I would use the oppurtunity to profess my feelings.

and she would probably be creeped out by that.

Can anyone help..? Or am I a bundle of shit-ridden emotions?

 

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