I wish I were eloquent,
Eucalyptus in the wind.
How sea foam gently glides – pure and white.
Wish I were simple,
Notes of cocoa in coffee,
the sound of C-Major on a spring day.
Wish I were warming,
Tea on a bitter cold night,
The prolonged hug.
Wish there was a moral, a meaning, a story.
Listen – I can still hear the arguing,
The breaking shot glasses against the wall.
Neatly tucked away in the dark, I huddled; weeping in silence so the beast would not hear.
Tightened breathing, darkened room, cold doorframe where shadows grew.
When there was silence, it was overwhelming.
He was convinced they were listening, prying at our family, peeking behind our doors.
I crowded into bathtubs, hid from bullets that were seeking.
Covered the baby with my body, cried to Jesus to stop the fighting.
Diesel engines left running, in the haunting nightmare I couldn’t be woken from.
In my mind, they will always be there. The noises will stay.
Alcohol being poured, drunk men chattering on the porch.
The sound of the locking door, parents fucking
Not thinking about their poor daughter’s ears a wall away.