con·scious

Awareness, beautiful, equality, Humanist, Journal, Love, Loving Life, New, Peace, Personal, Relationships, Small Things

If I die understanding how to respect life, I will have lived a spectacular existence.

Every day I have the opportunity to directly impact hundreds of people at work. I have the opportunity to communicate and observe them.

It’s disheartening to see old people who are unhappy. I can’t help but feel like they missed out on some life lesson along the way, the one that teaches us how to cherish and value every moment we live.

That the most important moment in our lives is the one we are in right now, because if we do not value what could be perceived as the monotonous and wasted seconds during commutes or while we eat breakfast or while we work our nine to five jobs, we will never truly cherish and value the supposed “special” moments in life.

Rather, we will end up feeling empty, sad, and left wondering why we feel so meaningless during those special moments. You can’t just hit a button and all of a sudden value life.

That same philosophy goes for our treatment of people. If you go about your day being angry with strangers you encounter, how can you truly value and respect your friends and family?

Depending on how one places value on people, the way they treat others changes.

Some people would treat me the same when I have my apron on as when I am wearing my nicest pair of clothes. Others, however, will ignore my hello’s and questions – blatantly walking past me, glancing at my face, and not responding to me when I have on the apron.

True respect for others cannot be turned off and on- you have either learned it or fake the niceties to get by in society.

I believe that respecting the moment and respecting the working class goes hand in hand. If someone goes their entire life cherry picking the moments that they will feel happy and only being kind to the most beautiful and the richest, think about all of the moments they will miss out on? All of the quality people that they have disregarded? There is so much substance in those things, to ignore it is a cry for help- you are unhappy with yourself.

It doesn’t matter if it is four in the morning, while you are on the bus, waiting in line for your coffee, or trying to fall asleep in bed at night.

I try to rush my life to get to those golden moments, where I am holding my boyfriend or enjoying a meal, the ones where I am at weddings or Christmas eve drinking cocoa- but there are 525600 minutes every year and 7.53 billion people in the world. I want to value every last one of both of those things.

In order to respect oneself and the life that they live, they have to respect the people around them and the environment that they live in, in order to do that we must value every second that we spend and every interaction that we have.

We cannot be perfect, it is not in our DNA- however, we can make a conscious effort to be better and strive every day for improvement.

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My Perfect Partner: Revised

Atheism, beautiful, Beauty, equality, Family, feminism, Future, Hope, Humanist, Journal, Love, Loving Life, New, Partner, Peace, Perfect, Personal, Relationships, science, Small Things, Smiling

About five months ago, on august 1st of 2016, I wrote a post about my perfect partner. While most of it is still true, I wanted to revise it. After going through my last relationship, some updating needed to happen.

My perfect partner would be taller than me, pretty fit or small, kiss really well. Someone who is sexual, and understand the appeal of large cities. Someone who would be down for adventure at any hour. They would remind me of what I love when I am sad. Preferably would have brown or dark hair, would wear leather shoes (probably oxfords or sandals). High libido. They would play chess, read for leisure, cook occasionally. Someone who would appreciate music with foreign lyrics and instrumental pieces. They would have the desire to see the world, to go places. Someone who loves foggy weather, as well as the rainy days. They would share my nerdy side, loving Lord of the Rings, Sherlock, The X-files, or whatever I’m interested in then as much as me. We would share the same taste in music and humor, I mean, a relationship with puns would have to be a good one. They kind of need to love sushi, because it’s literally my favorite. They would be an open-minded person who looks at (and doesn’t ignore) facts, someone who uses reasoning and skepticism to come to conclusions. A critical thinker, an intelligent being. Their occupation would be in a field of science or art, they would be a logical person with soft emotions. They would be passionate and caring, interesting but not a douche, kind but not in a delusional way. Ethically, I would see in them what I aspire to be. They would aspire to know everything they could, never stop learning. Someone who wants to make a change in the world, who is as crazy as I am in thinking that we could actually make a difference – but they don’t let that stop them.

Someone who would understand that I have my many emotional issues, and they wouldn’t guilt me for having them. They would understand that sometimes I need to be loved. Someone who wouldn’t mind my spam texting them, or that I over analyze the simplest of things. They wouldn’t mind that I can overreact to things, because let’s face it, I can make a lot of issues for myself. They would understand that I have a difficult time loving people, that I have a difficult time trusting someone after that trust has been broken. They would understand that I am a person who fluctuates in everything: emotions, weight, ideas. I’m constantly changing and don’t like settling.

Most importantly, we would want to make a relationship together work. We would make the other feel at peace, and loved. There will be no “if we’re still together then”, there would be trust and mutual satisfaction. There wouldn’t be that looming sense that one day we would break up.

I feel the intense desire to be in a long term relationship with someone like this. Surprisingly, nothing drastic has changed in the last five months, but a lot of little things were not the same anymore.

And of course, we would have to love each other.