What The Fuck Is Happening

Journal

This is just an easy way to say everything on my mind, so I’m doing it again. I’m scared, actually terrified, that you’re just doing what you did last time. I let myself get attached to you, have feelings for you, and just to have you tell me that you lost interest. I can’t let that happen again. God, it would be awfully easy too. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m actually the one who is hesitant. I really am not sure how to trust you, because you hurt me – however unintentional it was.

I don’t trust that your feelings are strong enough to allow myself to open up to the idea of something happening between us. You really need to communicate with me a little before I can have that sense of trust again. Like, how do I know that you’re really interested and this isn’t just your way of passing time?

It bothers me a little that you don’t message back faster, but that isn’t really an issue if you’re actually interested. I’ve just taken it as a sign that you don’t really care, and if you don’t care then I am not going to allow myself to put effort into this either.

I just want to know what this is to you – if you just messaged me out of the blue because I was an easy option (someone who was interested in you before), then count me out. I want to know that you are genuinely interested and care to make something work out here.

If you don’t have feelings for me, if you don’t get chills when you think about me, or if the idea of hanging out together for an evening talking doesn’t give you butterflies and make you ecstatic, then don’t waste my time.

This could just be a communication issue, or I could be right. So yeah, just get back to me on this.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s