It’s Because

Failure, Family, Journal, Personal

I have the tendency to blame one particular issue on my unhappiness, but I realized just now that isn’t the case.

it’s the mixture of everything that makes me unhappy.

it’s the fact that I am battling with liking myself, because I’m impulsive and sexual – it’s that I am hopelessly in need of someone to love me. it’s that I care so much.
my dad was abusive.
Sam, Cadence, and Talon – and my inability to date someone who is actually good for me.
my mom is emotionally unavailable.
my friends have a million of their own issues
no one has time for each other.
I might be extraordinarily busy all the time, but the second I have nothing to do, I am confronted with a wall the size trump wants to build of depression and all my emotional issues.
I can’t find someone who I love that loves me back.
I’m stressed about money and I’m becoming an adult this year, yet I don’t have a job yet.
I obsess over guys who could care less that I existed.
I love doing things that I’m terrible at so they make me feel like a failure – especially painting and physics.
I am so open and put myself out there, and it’s worked like three out of one hundred times.
The world seems so dull and sad, like there’s no actual happiness anywhere out there because everyone fakes it so well.
I have sent him a snapchat everyday for about a month and yet he never responds – so why do I still do it?? He obviously doesn’t like me.
my father lost his job, he is dating someone, and likely moving out of state.
I have no adults in my regular life who are actively proud of me.
I just want to feel satisfied, loved, and like people care about each other.

 

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One thought on “It’s Because

  1. Emerging into the adult world is definitely an anxiety-filled experience and it takes a long time for it not to be that way. Eventually, in the future, time has a way of settling things out. One way to battle the anxiety is to acknowledge that you may not be able to control everything and to have faith that things will work out in the long run. Sounds cliche and cheesy, but it surprisingly works.

    Like

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