Dealing with the Pain

Blame, Journal, Love, Partner, Personal, Relationships

I am acknowledging my intense pain and longing to see Talon – they do not make sense, but they are there.

I loved him, I cared for him, and I did everything in my power to make the relationship work, and it is time for me to acknowledge that the relationship he and I had could not have worked. No amount of “working through it” or agreeing to disagree would have solved the problems we had. Longing for my ex is not a sign that I am supposed to go back and try to repair the relationship.

I am simply feeling irrationally attached to a nearly dead relationship.

I am feeling irrationally upset by the possible things that may happen because he is not mine anymore – but those are just feelings happening inside my head and are not threats to me in the current moment.

So yes, I do miss Talon right now. I miss him, and I love him, and I feel like this whole thing might have just been because he couldn’t handle a serious relationship, but those things are all irrational or assumptions that I shouldn’t let control my current state of being or my overall happiness.

And yes, the watch he gave me won’t stop ticking and it’s causing me to cry a lot, but I will overcome this.

And yes, I do keep thinking about the fact that his sister-in-law will have a kid that I wanted to meet but never will. and that he will probably date someone within the next 2 weeks to months, statistically.. And that I’m going to have to sit dreadfully close to him during psychology, and I’ll have to deal with knowing where all of his classes are and where he’ll be all the time so I can avoid him.. but right now I just feel intense loneliness. I keep thinking about our last hug.

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