So, I’ve left my ex-boyfriend box sit for a month since my last breakup. It’s time to go through it..
I was just on facebook and saw a comment from Cadence on a mutual friend’s post.. I liked his comment passive aggressively. That’s when I knew it was time to go through and item by item release some of what emotions for him that are left in me.
- The stuffed animal we made together at Build-A-Bear.. It’s still cute, just tainted with unhappy memories.
- Next is a shirt his mom gave me. I never wore it..
- Matching pillowcases I gave him for Christmas..
- A harry potter figurine
- A harry potter tshirt he gave me
- His favorite tshirt of Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas
- A Zelda tshirt
- A pair of christmas socks from his mom
- A jacket from his mom
- Our matching ying and yang necklaces
- A deck of magic cards we bought together.
This is hard, I knew it would be.
What hurts most is that I know he cared so much and the entire time I knew it would end. I knew I was moving. I knew I didn’t want a Long Distance Relationship. I knew the whole time that there was something there with Megan (Bitch Faced Cunt)
I just wanted one last time where I felt loved, I wanted to be held, and I knew I didn’t want to spend another Valentine’s alone..
What I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have dated him solely because I was lonely.
And I don’t want to spend another Valentine’s alone. I don’t want to be single for christmas.. But I also don’t want to date someone that I’m not invested in or don’t love. Love is hard to find.
I wish that breakups didn’t end with resentment and anger – I wish I could eat without consequences too, though. There’s a lot that I want. There’s even more that I can’t have.